Open and Closed Mindset
“When we are closed to ideas what we hear is criticism. When we are open to ideas what we get is advice.”
The concept of an open or closed mindset is a powerful observation in regards to education. Sometimes referred to as the “Fixed and Growth Mindset”, the idea is that students who believe they can get smarter/better at something, understand that effort makes them stronger. Therefore they put in the time and effort, and that leads to a higher level of achievement.
If you are someone who says “I’m bad at Math”—well, you will probably always be bad at math. As educators, we know that an open/growth mindset is important for progress. We have to push our students out of that quickly drying cement of a fixed mindset and get them to believe in their abilities or at least their capacity to try.
Socially, we have all been exposed to closed-minded people (have you been on the internet?). We all probably like to think of ourselves as “pretty open-minded” too. As it relates to this quote, an “idea” can come in many forms. Most often when we talk about someone who is closed-minded we are referring to someone who is averse to anything new, different, “out of the ordinary”, not how they were raised, etc. I believe a lot of this is caused by a lack of empathy. We don’t take the time to understand people, where they are coming from, what makes them tick. We don’t branch out of our usual social circles, our neighborhoods, or families, or lunch table. We don’t expose ourselves to views that are opposite of our own, we just digest news and entertainment that reinforces the things we already believe in. What we are seeing in the current news cycle with Black Lives Matter and Trans Rights are perfect examples of this. Keep an open mind, and at the end of the day always remember your humanity and the value of life in all forms.
When it comes to advice—and there is a lot of it available on the internet in case you were looking for some (and a TON of it is unsolicited too, the best kind of advice…), what we often internalize is criticism. We can’t help but hear someone’s advice as an attack against who we are, what we do, how we do it, etc. There is so much to unpack when it comes to communication online, interpreting the written word over in-person dialogue, motives, when to add your 2 cents, when to leave yourself open for comments, when to read the comments, how to navigate trolling, and on and on. I’ve got my own battles with a lot of this (note how comments are turned off on my site…).
Even in (especially in) our personal relationships—advice triggers defense mode if the mood isn’t just right. “No, I don’t want you to show me how to load the dishwasher! You don’t think I can do it? Oh, you’re just being passive-aggressive—like I don’t do the dishes as much as you do? UGHHHH”.
Deep Breath.
So yes, there is a fine line between advice and criticism. The key here is to recognize context, do your best to assume positive intent when receiving “advice”, and always take that extra moment to look at the situation through someone else’s eyes.
